How We Started Experimenting
It all began last winter when me and my partner Sarah noticed we kept crushing on other people but didn’t want to throw away our solid 8-year thing. We were like “crap, what if we try doing both?” So we sat down with cheap wine one Tuesday night scratching our heads over this mess.
The Awkward Trial Phase
First we set these ground rules: no secrets, condoms mandatory, and Tuesday nights just for us. We downloaded Tinder and started swiping separately – felt weird as hell seeing each other’s match notifications pop up. Sarah hooked up with some artist dude first. When she came home smelling like cigarettes I almost puked but we talked till 3AM.
Massive mistake we made early:
- Tried dating the same girl without telling her – disaster when she found out
- Got jealous about time splits (he was getting more action than me lol)
- Forgot our anniversary cause we were too busy texting other people
The Turning Point
This spring Sarah caught feelings for her yoga teacher while I was vibing with a barista. We had this brutal kitchen fight yelling stuff like “You used to hate yoga!” But truth bomb: instead of breaking up, we booked therapy. That shrink made us write down what each relationship gave us. Damn eye-opener – Sarah got intellectual stimulation from yoga dude that I couldn’t provide, I got playful energy from the barista.
How It Actually Functions Now
Current status: been 9 months and surprisingly not dead! Sarah sees yoga guy biweekly, I grab coffee with barista every Sunday. We keep a shared Google Calendar (color coded of course) and do check-ins every Sunday night. Still fight sometimes when someone oversteps but the rules evolved:
- Sleepovers max twice a month per external partner
- No spending birthdays/holidays with others
- Automatic pause if work stress gets heavy
Biggest win? Our sex life went from meh to fireworks cause we talk way more openly now. Still weird explaining this to parents though – told mom Sarah’s yoga guy is just her “meditation buddy”.
