Alright, so Halloween’s coming up again, right? Last year totally bombed telling jokes at my buddy’s party. Got this awkward silence after a dirty joke. Felt like an idiot. So this time, I decided to figure out how to pick the good dirty Halloween jokes without making people uncomfortable.
First Step: Digging Up Jokes
Started by googling “Halloween dirty jokes” – tons popped up. Copy-pasted like 50 into a doc. Realized most were either childish puns or straight-up gross. Like one about a pumpkin and a nun that made me cringe immediately. Trashed those right away.
Testing the Waters
Grabbed three different groups:
- Told mild ones to my cousin’s teenagers at brunch. They giggled at vampire innuendos but rolled eyes at zombie sex puns.
- Shared medium-spicy witch jokes with coworkers during lunch break. Got reluctant chuckles until Dave choked on his sandwich hearing a skeleton punchline.
- Saved the raunchiest ones for Friday beers with my college buddies. They howled at graveyard double entendres but unanimously roasted a mummy joke calling it “lazy shock value”.
The Filter System I Made
Noticed patterns after watching reactions all week:
- BAD ONES rely on vulgar words just to be nasty (like that nun joke)
- BAD ONES punch down – making fun of bodies or trauma ain’t funny
- GOOD ONES dress filth in clever costumes (wordplay > explicit stuff)
- GOOD ONES let the audience connect dots themselves
Started rewriting trashy jokes using this filter. That awful pumpkin joke? Changed it to: “Why did Dracula hate Jack-o’-lanterns? They kept flashing their guts.” Way better chuckles.
Halloween Night Trial Run
Armed with my polished list at the block party. Tested a ghost joke: “What’s a phantom’s favorite position? The boo-ttom.” Got groans but smiles. The werewolf one? “Why do werewolves suck at relationships? Full moon makes them howl too much.” Group actually laughed! No walkaways or eye rolls this time. Felt like a win.
Biggest lesson? Dirty ain’t about being disgusting – it’s about playing peek-a-boo with taboo. If you gotta explain why it’s dirty, you already failed. Throw out anything that needs cringe disclaimers. Now my joke doc’s sorted into “Hell Yeah” and “Nope” folders. Might sell the good ones as NFTs. Kidding. Maybe.
