Alright so today’s experiment started when I opened my laptop and saw this “sexual horoscope” thing popping up everywhere. Figured why not, let’s see what the stars say about my love life today. Grabbed my coffee, notebook, and sat down at the kitchen table around 7 AM sharp.
The Setup Phase
First, the guide said I needed my exact birth time – had to dig out that old birth certificate from the bottom drawer. Dust flew everywhere, sneezed like crazy. Finally found it scribbled near the bottom: 3:17 PM. Wrote that down in my notebook with today’s date, double-checking like the steps said.
Step 1: Journal current feelings about love. Honestly? Wrote: “Feeling kinda blah, been too busy with work to even think about dating.” Short and real.
Following the Stars
Step 2: Look up today’s planetary positions. Opened two different astrology apps – totally didn’t match. One said Venus was in Gemini, the other insisted Taurus. Scratched my head, then just picked the one with nicer fonts. Wrote: “Venus in Gemini (maybe?) means flirty energy.” Jotted it with a question mark.
Step 3: Cross-reference moon phases. Easy part! Moon’s waning crescent. Guide said this means “release old baggage.” So I literally flipped open an old journal, read a cringe entry from last year, then ripped it out and shredded it. Felt weirdly satisfying.
The Weird Part
Step 4: Identify “intimacy blockers.” Okay, this got awkward. Had to sit quietly and scan my body for tension. Noticed my shoulders were super tight – probably from hunching over laptops. Also felt hunger pangs. Realized I skipped breakfast again. Wrote: “Tension in shoulders + hangry mood = major blockers. Eat breakfast!!” Practical, right?
The Final Step & My Take
Step 5: Create one action item. Decided to “reach out to someone who sparks joy.” Texted my college buddy Sam, absolutely zero romance, just sent a meme. He replied instantly laughing. Counts? Close enough.
Ended the session asking myself: Did the horoscope itself matter? Not really. But forcing myself to pause and think about relationships? Hell yeah. Today felt lighter. Maybe just ’cause I shredded that old drama and ate a bagel though. Stars? They’re just the push I need to do things I already know. Solid 6/10 experience.
