So okay, I gotta be honest here. For a long time, I kinda sucked at giving oral. Like, really sucked. Felt awkward, didn’t know what I was doing, got zero reaction beyond maybe a polite pat on the head. Totally embarrassing. So yeah, I figured it was time to actually figure this thing out, stop being clueless.
Where I Started (Which Was Basically Nowhere)
Last month, things went sideways big time with my girlfriend. She was super patient, bless her, but finally just looked at me and said, “Honey… maybe slow down? Like, a lot?” Ouch. Reality check. My whole approach was basically this frantic, clumsy attempt to find the magic button. Like trying to open a combination lock by shaking it really hard. Not a winner.
- Mistake #1: The Jackhammer Technique. Yup, just zeroing in and going at it like a damn woodpecker. Apparently, that spot is sensitive? Who knew?
- Mistake #2: The Pressure Cooker. My mouth seemed to operate under the impression that maximum suction = maximum effect. Yeah, no. Learned that one the hard way. Not comfortable.
- Mistake #3: The One-Track Mind. Tunnel vision on just one area like it was the Holy Grail. Totally ignored everything else happening down there.
Trying Actually Paying Attention
So after that disaster, I swallowed my pride (pun maybe intended?) and decided to listen properly. Not just do, but pay attention. Next time, I slowed everything down. Like, WAY down. Forget trying to achieve liftoff in 5 seconds. I treated the whole thing like exploring a new place.
Started with way less intensity. Kissed around, gentle circles near things first, not barging straight into Grand Central Station. Used way less suction and way less pressure. Seriously, barely any pressure at all at first. My whole goal was just to get feedback. Asked her stuff like “Here?” or “More like that?” quietly. Watched her face like it was the damn instruction manual. Turns out, flicking lightly is often better than pushing hard. Who’d have thought?
The big shift? Realizing it wasn’t a sprint, or even a race. It was a slow build. Focused on how her body reacted – squirming, breathing faster, hips moving. Used my hands to stroke her thighs, belly, everywhere else, made it a whole-body thing, not just mouth-meets-target.
What Actually Started Working
- Variety is KEY: Didn’t just pick one spot and hammer it. Moved between different sensations – soft flicks, slow broad strokes with the flat of my tongue, tiny circles. Switched it up constantly.
- Hands Aren’t Decoration: Kept one hand busy up top, teasing her nipples or caressing her skin. Or even just resting reassuringly on her hip. Connection matters.
- Slow Build: Focused on the journey, not just sprinting for the finish line. Let the tension build gradually.
- Read the Room (or the Body): If she got super tense? Eased off pressure. If she moved towards me? Maybe increased speed slightly, but kept it varied. If she moaned a certain way? Did more of whatever caused that. Like following subtle clues.
Where I’m At Now (Still Learning!)
Had my first real win a couple of nights ago. Instead of that awkward silence or polite stop, things escalated because she wanted it to. That slow, attentive build-up actually got her incredibly fired up. Total game changer, man. Felt like finally understanding the assignment.
Took maybe 20 minutes of that slow build. Used way less frantic energy and way more patience. The success? Seeing her genuinely lose control. Not because I was trying to force it, but because she just… got there. Felt amazing to get it right.
Bottom line? Rushing, pressure, and ignoring cues were my downfalls. Slowing down, listening, responding, and exploring made it work. Still got stuff to figure out, but hey, finally feel like I’m on the right track. It ain’t about technical perfection; it’s about paying damn attention.
