Ever since moving to this new city for work, I feels kinda lonely. My old pals are all back home, you know? So I decides to tackle this “friend drought” head-on last month. Here’s exactly what I did, step by step.
My Starting Point
First up, I admits to myself: making friends as an adult sucks. No school or college to force people together anymore. Just… crickets. I’m decent at chatting but damn lazy about putting myself out there. So I sets a stupid simple target: try one new “friend-finding” thing each week for 5 weeks. No pressure.
Week 1: Forced Myself Into The Wild
Honestly? Walked into three coffee shops near my apartment like a lost puppy. Ordered a black coffee at each, sat alone, and secretly scanned people like a creep. Zero conversations started. Huh. Guess I should’ve brought a book or laptop instead of staring at my phone sweating. What a shame I am.
Week 2: Joined The App Rat Race
Downloaded two friend-finding apps everyone talks about. Created profiles saying normal stuff like “Love hiking, coffee, bad movies.” Swiped right on like 50 profiles that seemed okay-ish. Got five matches! Then… radio silence after my “Hey what’s up?” messages. Two actually replied:
- “Lol just chilling” – Conversation dead.
- “Cool profile 🤙” – Then vanished.
Deleted apps immediately. Back to square one.
Week 3: Attended a Public Workshop
Saw a free plant-care workshop at the community garden. Went early, sat in front. Lady next to me kept fiddling with her monstera cutting. I pipes up: “Looks tricky, huh?” Turns out she killed her last three plants. We laughed! Actually exchanged names – Sarah! – and bonded over being plant murderers. Didn’t swap contacts though. Regret it later.
Week 4: Reused My Hobbies (Desperately)
Remembered I used to play badminton in high school. Found a local drop-in session online. Showed up with my ancient racket. Group was mostly regulars. Got paired with Mike, a dude in his 40s. We sucked equally! Chatted between serves:
- “Man, my back hurts after two shots.”
- “Same! Getting old sucks!”
He invited me to next week’s game! Boom – first real lead.
Week 5: The Pathetic “Neighbor Move”
Saw my neighbor – Dave, I think? – taking out his trash. Usually I’d hide inside pretending not to see. Not today! Forced myself outside with my trash bag too. Awkward wave. “Hey… weather’s nice?” He actually stopped! Turned out he’s into BBQ smoking. He spent 10 minutes explaining brisket temperatures while I nodded like an idiot. Invited me over next weekend for ribs. Score!
What Actually Worked?
My big lessons? Forget apps. Useless unless you’re a supermodel or comedian. Real people work better. Just gotta:
- Show up repeatedly: See Mike at badminton again next week.
- Reuse your old skills: Dig up forgotten hobbies.
- Commit minor awkwardness: Talk to Dave despite garbage smell.
- Lower expectations: One semi-friend after five weeks? Victory!
It’s messy. Feels like dating but cheaper. Still working on it! Maybe stop collapsing after yoga next time.
