Alright so last week I got this random idea stuck in my head – how do you actually know if a guy’s a virgin? Like, what are real signs? Not some textbook nonsense. Curiosity ate at me. So, I decided… hell, I’ll try figuring this out myself. Just observing, you know? Real-world experiment.
First step: research. And I mean old-school observation. Started hanging out more at the local coffee shop near campus Tuesday evenings. Figured it’s a spot where people chat freely. Brought my notebook like some detective wannabe, pretending to read a book. Honestly felt kinda dumb scribbling notes like “Subject A: Laughs loudly, avoids eye contact with waitress”. This ain’t science, it’s just people-watching gone weird.
Next, I listed 5 “simple signs” folks online kept yapping about. Pure bro-science garbage:
- How they talk around girls they like? Clumsy or smooth?
- Getting overly nervous about flirty jokes?
- Super jumpy about touch? Like, accidental shoulder brush?
- Bragging or oversharing about sex?
- Body language – closed off or what?
Thursday I tried applying this crap. Watched this shy kid trying to talk to a girl at the next table. Hands shaking holding his latte? Barely said two words. My notebook entry: “Possible virgin? Extreme nervousness + zero game.” Felt judgmental as hell writing that down.
Weekend rolls around. Friends are out at a bar. I’m lurking near the pool table like some socially awkward fly on the wall. There’s Mike – known for his “stories”. Overhearing him loudly telling everyone he “hooked up with three girls last weekend.” My stupid checklist goes “Obvious liar? Bragging = overcompensation?” My own bias was messing things up already.
By Sunday night, I realized how deeply pointless this was. That guy sweating buckets near girls? Turns out he just has anxiety – friend told me later. Mike the loudmouth? Yeah, actually got around plenty but just loves attention. My observations? Meaningless. Flawed. Honestly felt creepy sitting there judging strangers.
Final thoughts scribbled in my notebook:
- People are messy. Can’t fit into stupid boxes.
- Nervousness? Could be anything.
- Bragging? Usually insecurity – not a virginity meter.
- This whole quest? Kinda invasive and pointless.
- Wasted a week playing Sherlock Holmes for nothing.
Lesson learned: Trying to spot “virgin signs” is like reading tea leaves in a tornado. Dumb. People are just people. Let it be.
