How I Ended Up Fixing My Messy Butt Pain Situation
Alright, so here’s the deal. For a while, trying anal stuff felt like I was wrestling with a cactus. Seriously, it wasn’t fun. Burning, tightness – kinda ruined the whole vibe, you know? People kept saying “use lube,” but even with half a bottle, nope. Needed a real fix. So, I actually put my big-boy pants on and experimented. Here’s how it went down, step by messy step.
First off, I realized rushing things? Total disaster. Like that time I got too excited thinking “tonight’s the night!” Yeah, no. Tried easing it in slow, but the pain shot up like a rocket. Partner got scared, I got frustrated. We both just kinda flopped there feeling crappy afterwards. Lesson learned? Chill out.
Okay, round two. Went to the store, grabbed some fancy new water-based stuff instead of the cheap drugstore lube. Figured maybe more was the answer. Slathered it on like sunscreen. Yeah… still felt like sandpaper scraping away down there. Worse, actually? It just made a giant slippery, uncomfortable swamp situation. Leaked everywhere. Needed five towels. Ugh.
This sucked. Maybe it’s me? Maybe my body just doesn’t do anal? Read a bunch of forums. Scrolled like mad. People talked about breathing and relaxing muscles. Honestly sounded kinda silly, but screw it, I tried. Next time, I focused. Deep breaths. Like, really deep belly breaths, slow and steady. And I told my partner “Go slower than you think is slow. Like, turtle-winning-a-marathon slow.”
Surprise surprise – that turtle speed? Plus breathing into the pressure instead of tensing up? Game changer. Honestly felt weirdly different. Still intense, but the sharp burn was gone. Felt more like… a strong stretch? Manageable. Kept breathing, kept going stupid slow. We actually made progress without the fiery agony!
Also, switched to a thicker gel lube this time. Saw someone say “slick, not soupy.” That clicked. Used way less than before, just reapplied when needed. WAY better. Stuck around longer, didn’t turn into a swamp. Made everything glide smoother without feeling like a slip ‘n slide.
Here’s what finally stuck for me:
- Breathe like your life depends on it: Seriously. Deep into your belly. Think “blow up a balloon” breath. Helps melt the tension.
- Patience isn’t a virtue, it’s mandatory: Speed kills (the mood). Dial it back to glacial pace. Let your body adjust completely before even thinking about moving.
- Lube smart, not hard: Grab a thicker gel. Apply less than you think, reapply later. Skip the watery kinds, they vanish.
- Communication is key: Tell your partner what’s working (“Keep it slow there”), what’s not (“STOP!”). Be blunt.
Bottom line? Took trial, error, and swallowing my pride to figure it out. Don’t be like past-me thinking more lube equals instant bliss. Chill out, breathe deep, go slow. Feels like a whole new world opened up down there. No more cactus vibes, finally. Huge win!
