So My Partner Said We Needed To Spice Things Up
Last Tuesday night, Mike dropped this while we were watching Netflix: “Babe, can we try something different in bed?” Honestly? Kinda freaked me out at first. But then he showed me this 5-minute oral technique guide on his phone, all awkward like a teenager. Was actually pretty funny.
Next morning, I grabbed my phone and researched while drinking coffee. Watched three YouTube tutorials with the volume low – nearly jumped outta my skin when my roommate walked in! Took notes like I was back in school:
- Timing matters most: Skip straight to business when he’s already turned on
- Use hands & mouth together: Called the “honeycomb trick” or something weird
- Rhythm over speed: Go steady like drumming, not jackhammer mode
The Practice Run Disaster
Tried it Thursday after dinner. Complete fail! Started while he was checking work emails – dude literally said “Can this wait?” Oops. Forgot the lip balm too, chapped lips hurt like hell. Mike just patted my head like a golden retriever. Mortifying.
Round Two: Nailed It
Last night waited ’til he came outta shower. Set timer secretly (5 mins max!). Applied crazy amounts of coconut oil – smelled like vacation. Remembered the tutorial tip: left hand twists slowly at the base while mouth focuses on the top. Weirdly like licking an ice cream cone? He made this guttural noise halfway through. At 4min 37sec he just shuddered and collapsed. My jaw kinda ached but damn – success!
What Actually Worked
- No warm-up needed when he’s already hard (save the 5 mins!)
- Humming vibrations made his legs shake everytime
- Eye contact = instant feedback when I did something right
Honestly thought this “5-min trick” sounded like clickbait crap. Shocked it worked better than anniversary dinners. Gotta try the 7-min version next week – if my jaw recovers by then!
