Honestly, getting tested felt awkward at first. But hey, health comes first right? Here’s exactly how I rolled up my sleeves and got it done.
The Awkward Phone Call
Grabbed my phone and dialed the clinic downtown. When the receptionist picked up, my throat got dry. Just blurted out: “Need an STD test, how does this work?” Turns out she hears this 50 times a day. Felt dumb for stressing.
Scheduling Was Stupid Easy
She didn’t ask why. Just offered me three time slots tomorrow. Took the 10am. Whole convo took maybe 90 seconds. They emailed me a form – basically just name, birthday, and checkboxes for what tests I wanted. Clicked all the common ones. Done.
Walk-in Experience
Show up next morning expecting judgment. Nope. Waiting room had:
- A dude nursing coffee looking at his phone
- Grandma reading a magazine
- Teenager picking at his sneakers
Felt like waiting for a flu shot. Receptionist just said “Name? Cool, sit anywhere.” Didn’t announce my business to the whole room.
The Actual Test Part
Nurse called me back. Just two things happened:
- Pee in a cup – like middle school drug testing
- Quick blood draw – less painful than stubbing my toe
She asked if I wanted counseling. I said nah. Whole thing took 8 minutes tops.
Results Drama? Zero.
Got a text three days later: “Results ready online.” Logged into their portal. Green checkmark next to everything. Closed my laptop. Went and ate tacos.
Biggest lesson? Nobody cares, nobody stares. Easier than ordering pizza delivery. Wish I’d done it years ago without all the sweating.
