Alright, so I gotta tell you about this whole “accept full responsibility” thing I’ve been wrestling with. Honestly, it sounded kinda preachy at first. Like, “Yeah, yeah, be responsible, blah blah.” But holy crap, actually doing it? Totally different ballgame.
The Wake-Up Call (More Like a Smack in the Face)
Last Tuesday? Disaster. Utter chaos. Woke up late because I somehow forgot to set my alarm – again. Rushed out the door, spilled coffee all over my stupidly expensive white shirt, got stuck in traffic I knew usually sucks at that hour, and missed the first half of an important client call. My whole morning felt like one giant chain reaction of suck, and guess what? My first instinct was to fume.
- Blamed the alarm clock: “This piece of junk didn’t go off!”
- Blamed the coffee mug: “Who designed this stupid lid?!”
- Blamed the city planners: “Why don’t they fix these roads?!”
- Blamed the client scheduling: “Couldn’t they pick a better time?!”
Felt miserable all day. Work suffered. Mood was garbage. And then it hit me like a truck: None of those things I blamed actually caused my misery. My reaction to them did. My lack of prep caused the dominoes to fall.
The Hard Part: Grabbing the Wheel
Sitting there that night, stewing, I remembered stumbling across that “accept responsibility” idea. Decided right then to try it. Not just think it, do it. Felt weird, almost unnatural. Here’s what I physically did:
- Fired up the Notes app on my phone. Titled it “My Mess, My Fix.”
- Started typing the TRUTH:
- “I forgot to double-check the alarm clock was set properly. I rely on it too much. My bad.”
- “I grabbed that travel mug knowing it sometimes leaks if I’m careless. I wasn’t careful pouring.”
- “I left later than I planned, even knowing traffic is bad. I chose to hit snooze.”
- “I didn’t log into the meeting early ‘just in case’. I assumed it’d be fine.”
- Felt super uncomfortable writing that. Like admitting weakness. But kept typing.
Just writing it down, using “I” statements, forced me to see the pattern. It wasn’t the world screwing me over; it was me stumbling through it unprepared.
Putting the Rubber to the Road
Knowing wasn’t enough. Needed action. Made tiny promises to myself:
- Bought a simple backup alarm clock and put it across the room. Now I have to get up.
- Tested my travel mug rigorously. If it leaks easily? New mug. Period.
- Set a “Get Ready” alarm 15 minutes earlier than I “need” to leave.
- Created a checklist app thing for my desk: “Alarm Set? Mug Secure? Leave by X:XX?” Simple.
The biggest thing? I wore a stupid little cheap bracelet. Every time I caught myself thinking, “This is so-and-so’s fault,” I tapped that bracelet. Reminded myself: “What did I do (or not do) that contributed to this?”
Honest Results (It Ain’t Perfect!)
Been a week and a half. Life hasn’t magically transformed into sunshine and rainbows, obviously. Stuff still happens. But man, the difference in how I feel and handle it?
- Less Stress: Seriously, way less internal screaming. When that bracelet taps me, it forces a pause. I take a breath. Think: “Okay, what can I control here?”
- Fixed Problems Faster: Because I’m not wasting time ranting about unfairness, I jump to solutions quicker. Missed bus? Fine, called the ride-share immediately instead of stewing for 10 minutes first.
- Felt Weirdly Empowered: Knowing the buck stops with me is scary, yeah. But also? Super liberating. It means I’m not helpless. I have agency to make better choices next time.
- Still Mess Up: Oh yeah. Yesterday I totally spaced on a minor promise to a friend. Old me: “Oh they’ll understand, been busy.” New me: (after bracelet tap) Texted them: “Hey, totally blanked on that thing I said I’d do, no excuse. Can I fix it by tomorrow?” Felt awkward, but honest. And guess what? They were cool about it.
Bottom line? Accepting full responsibility felt like crap at first. Like swallowing bad medicine. But damn, the effect has been way stronger than I expected. It cuts out the victim story, forces me to actually learn, and somehow makes everything just… lighter. Not easier, but definitely clearer. Still working on it daily, but yeah. Way better than that Tuesday disaster.
