Alright, so here’s how I dealt with that gut-wrenching feeling when the guy I totally liked ended up chasing my friend instead. Brutal, right? Happened like two months ago, felt like a proper kick in the teeth. Sharing because maybe my mess will help someone else.
The Sucker Punch
First came the confusing rumors. Some mutual buddies kept dropping vague hints like “you okay?” or giving me that look. Pretty weird. Felt like everyone knew something I didn’t. My friend started acting cagey too, cancelling hangouts suddenly, texting super late.
Then, bam. Saw it with my own eyes scrolling Insta last Tuesday morning. Picture of them grabbing coffee downtown. Not one picture, like a whole dang carousel post. Him grinning that goofy smile I liked, her doing her perfect little hair flip. My stomach legit dropped. Felt like I’d swallowed a rock. Scrolled back up: her caption, “#greatstarttotheday”. Mine involved dry toast and trying not to puke.
The Immediate Aftermath
What’d I actually do?
- First reaction: Face hot, phone chucked across my bed. Ugly-cried into my pillow for a solid twenty minutes. Snot everywhere. Real classy.
- Called my sister: Blubbered down the phone “He-her-they-coffee-why?!” Took her ten minutes to even understand me. Her advice? “Deep breaths. Ice cream. Delete that picture.” Simple, solid.
- Obsession Phase: Okay, guilty. Swiped back to the post like fifty times. Zoomed in. “Is his foot touching hers?! Are those his keys on the table?!” Did not help. Mouth tasted like pennies.
- The Hard Part: Deleted him. Unfollowed her. Hit that button. Felt awful, like severing a limb. But knew I couldn’t heal seeing that daily. Kept expecting regret. Got numbness.
Actually Trying to Move On
Knowing I needed to move sucked. Felt impossible. Started small.
- Anger Fuel: Honestly? Used the injustice. Felt angry at him for being shallow, at her for not even talking to me, at the universe. Poured that into loud, trashy music in my room. Danced horribly. Screamed into cushions. It worked better than expected.
- Space is Magic: Stopped going to places I knew they’d be. No more “accidentally” running into them at Dave’s bar on Friday night. Ghosted the mutual gossip channels. My peace skyrocketed. Out of sight, slowly out of mind.
- Friend Check: Reached out to real friends. Not mutuals. The ones who wouldn’t bring him up. Spent a whole weekend at Jen’s place watching terrible rom-coms and eating cookie dough. Felt human again.
- Do ANYTHING Else: Signed up for that pottery class I kept putting off. Got messy. Focused on centering stupid clay for an hour straight. The relief? Immense. Mind was finally quiet.
Slowly, stopped dissecting every interaction I ever had with him. Remembered he actually chewed weird and was kinda rude to waiters. Important stuff surfaces when you stop obsessing. Noticed sunsets again. Started planning a dumb solo weekend trip just because. Felt my own life refill.
Where I’m At Now
Not gonna lie, still stings sometimes. Saw their hands linked downtown last week. Stomach still lurched. But difference is, this time? I sighed, rolled my eyes, kept walking to get my favourite bubble tea. Texted Jen a meme about bad taste instead of brooding.
It’s not over overnight. Felt like peeling superglue off skin – messy and hurts and leaves residue. But the obsessive panic? Gone. The constant ache? Faded to a faint twinge. Healing isn’t pretty, it’s doing the damn dishes when your heart’s in pieces. You just keep doing the next thing. Eventually, the sunshine feels warm again.
