So here’s the deal: last weekend I was at this crowded bar with friends, just trying to chill after a long week. We’re jammed near the counter waiting for drinks when suddenly—I feel a hand brush against my crotch. Hard enough to NOT be an accident. My brain froze. Like, what the actual fuck?
The Immediate Aftermath
I spun around real quick, ready to yell, but the woman behind me just smiled like nothing happened. No “sorry,” no “oops,” nothing. My gut said she totally meant it, but I didn’t wanna cause a scene. So I stepped back, kept watching her. Few minutes later, she “accidentally” bumped her hand into another dude’s thigh nearby. Pattern spotted.
Digging Deeper
Next day, I dove into research. Asked a buddy who bartends, even messaged a therapist pal. Here’s the lowdown:
- Power move? Some people get off on making others uncomfortable. Control thing.
- Testing boundaries? My friend said drunk folks do dumb shit to see if you’ll react.
- Zero excuse though—touching anyone without consent is straight-up harassment.
What Actually Helped
My therapist friend dropped truth bombs:
- Call it out loud: A sharp “Hey, don’t touch me!” snaps attention to their behavior. Embarrassment hits ’em fast.
- Walk TF away: Not your job to educate creeps. Protect your space first.
- Report it: Bars/staff need to know. I texted the manager later—turns out she’d been flagged before.
Bottom Line
Don’t overthink the “meaning.” It ain’t flirting, it ain’t ambiguous. It’s violation. Trust your gut, shut it down hard, and bail if shit feels off. Nobody gets a free pass to put hands on you.
