Okay, let me walk you through my messy journey trying to spot real signs someone’s just not that into you. It started after wasting three months texting a guy who’d ghost for weeks, then pop up with “hey u up?” texts at midnight.
Phase 1: Obsessively Collecting “Evidence”
First, I dumped every vague interaction into my Notes app:
- “He said he’d call after his trip but didn’t for 11 days”
- “Canceled two dates last minute with lame excuses”
- “Only texts about booty calls when drunk”
- “Forgets basic stuff I told him (like my job or birthday)”
Then I compared it to quotes from relationship experts – stuff like “If he likes you, YOU’LL KNOW. If he doesn’t, YOU’LL BE CONFUSED.” Oof. That hit hard.
Phase 2: Testing Theories IRL
I stopped double-texting first. Radio silence for a week straight. When he finally messaged, it was zero follow-up questions about me, just complaining about his work drama. Textbook low effort.
Next test: Asked him point-blank to grab dinner Sunday. He gave the classic “maybe, ill lyk!” – then vanished till Tuesday. Actions speaking louder than words? Check.
Phase 3: Brutal Honesty Time
Laid all the quotes next to my evidence list:
- “They prioritize what matters to them.” His fantasy football league got more attention than our convos.
- “You’re an option, not a priority.” Dude would leave me on read to like other girls’ thirst traps.
- “Excuses are just rejections in disguise.” That “crazy busy at work” text always came right after posting beach volleyball stories.
Reality hit like a ton of bricks. He’d shown me exactly where I stood – I just refused to see it.
Final Realization
Deleted his number after one last drunk “u around?” text at 2AM. Truth is? No quote or sign matters if you’re ignoring your gut screaming “THIS FEELS LIKE CRAP.”
Saving grace? Recognizing these patterns early saves years of headache. Trust me.
