Getting the idea off the ground
So last Sunday, I’m scrubbing dishes after dinner when my wife casually mentions our neighbor’s ridiculous argument over pineapple pizza toppings. Suddenly it hits me – wouldn’t it be hilarious to test how well couples actually know each other’s weird quirks? Grabbed my sticky notes and scrawled “PARTNER QUIZ” in all caps before I forgot.
Cooking up the questions
Stayed up way past midnight brainstorming at the kitchen counter. Dumped every inside joke and ridiculous habit my wife has into this list:
- Her secret midnight snack: “Pretzels dipped in Nutella? Or pickles straight from the jar?”
- Most hated household chore: Ironing pillowcases? Wiping bathroom mirrors?
- Zombie apocalypse weapon choice: Her grandma’s cast iron skillet or my baseball bat?
Made sure half the options sounded plausible but were totally wrong – that’s where the funny kicks in.
Execution disaster strikes
Next morning I shoved the quiz at my wife during breakfast. Big mistake. She took one look at question 3 – “What’s your partner’s most embarrassing shower singing song?” – and pancake syrup went flying. “Seriously? You’re using my Britney Spears tragedy against me?” she yelped. Had to dodge a fork coming at me.
The glorious mess unfolds
We wound up taking turns blindfolded in the living room, shouting answers over our kid’s cartoons. I choked when she asked what color underwear I was wearing (they were neon green, not black). She nearly fell off the couch laughing when I mixed up her mom’s birthday with our Amazon Prime renewal date.
Epic failures and surprises
Final tally was brutal – I scored 45%, she nailed 60%. Turns out she noticed I put ketchup in my coffee that one hungover Tuesday? Never lived that down. The best part was question 12: “Where would your partner hide a body?” We both wrote “behind his bonsai collection” simultaneously. Creepy but weirdly heartwarming.
What I learned
Ditch the pen-and-paper method unless you want pancake collateral damage. Do this stuff when the kids aren’t around to hear about underwear colors. Most importantly? You think you know someone after 12 years until they remind you about the Great Ketchup Coffee Incident of 2022. Marriage keeps you humble, folks.
