So I had this idea last week – my girl’s birthday was coming up, and I wanted to do something different from usual gifts. Cards feel lazy, jewelry’s expensive, so I thought… why not write her some sexy poems? Sounds simple, right? Big mistake.
The Awkward Start
Grabbed my notebook around 11 PM thinking it’ll flow naturally. Wrote “Your lips like rose petals” immediately cringed and scratched it out. Tried again: “When you touch me there I…” Nope. Too much like bad porn. Deleted everything after 45 minutes with three lousy lines.
Switching Tactics
Next morning brewed extra coffee and changed approach. Pulled out my phone gallery scrolling through our vacation pics:
- The sunrise shot where her hair was messy from sleep
- Her laughing with wine stains on her white shirt at the vineyard
- That video of her dancing terribly in the kitchen
Suddenly wrote:
Your morning breath against my neck
Before the toothpaste mint
That’s the secret scent I steal
When pretending to be asleep
Finally! Something real that wouldn’t make her giggle uncomfortably.
Finding the Balance
Wrote five more throughout the day hiding them in random places:
- Scribbled one about her shoulder freckles on a grocery receipt
- Drafted another about her post-workout sweat smell in my workout app notes
- Got stuck again trying to write about sex directly – kept sounding clinical or ridiculous
Breakthrough came when I stopped writing about bodies and wrote about anticipation instead:
That sigh when you unbutton
My jeans first
Your jeans next
The zipper sound
is the loudest prayer I know
The Delivery
Printed them on thick paper, burned the edges with a lighter (almost set off smoke alarm), and tied with the hair elastic she always leaves at my place. Left it on her pillow before work.
Got a voice note at lunch: “You absolute idiot… I’m crying in the office bathroom.” Mission accomplished.
Final takeaway? Sexy ain’t about fancy words. It’s your inside jokes on paper, the laundry-folding forearms she stares at, and writing when you’re half-asleep at 3 AM.
