You know, that phrase, “you are loved,” I used to hear it all the time. People would say it, write it in cards, all that stuff. And I’d just nod along, you know? Like, “Okay, sure, thanks.” But if I’m being honest, for a long, long time, those words just kinda hung in the air. They didn’t really land. Sometimes, they even felt a bit… hollow. Especially when I wasn’t feeling particularly great about myself or what was going on in my life.
I remember this one period, things were tough. Really tough. I felt pretty isolated, like I was just going through the motions. And someone, meaning well, I’m sure, said “you are loved.” And man, it almost stung. Because in that moment, I just couldn’t see it. Couldn’t feel it. It felt like a platitude, something easy to say when you’re not the one in the muck.
Digging a Bit Deeper Than Just Words
So, I sort of started on this quiet, personal quest. Not like I announced it or anything. It was more of an internal thing. I started to really observe. I watched people. I listened more. I tried to figure out what this “love” thing really meant beyond the romantic, movie-style stuff. I began to wonder if I was missing something obvious.
My process, if you can call it that, was pretty simple, looking back. It wasn’t about grand gestures. It was about noticing the small stuff.
- I started paying attention to tiny acts of kindness, not just towards me, but between other people too. Someone holding a door. A colleague offering to help with a task without being asked. Things I’d previously dismissed as just… politeness.
- I spent a bit more time just being quiet with myself. Not trying to fix anything, just letting myself be. That was hard, let me tell you. We’re so used to doing, doing, doing.
- I tried to consciously acknowledge the good things, no matter how small. A good cup of coffee. Sunshine after days of rain. A project at work that actually went well.
And I started to realize that this feeling of being loved wasn’t always going to be a big, loud announcement. Sometimes, it was incredibly subtle. It was in the consistency of my dog always being happy to see me, no matter what kind of day I’d had. It was in a friend remembering a silly little detail I’d told them months ago. It was even in me starting to treat myself a bit more gently, cutting myself some slack when I messed up.
The real shift happened when I stopped waiting for some external validation, some big sign from the universe. I started to understand that “you are loved” isn’t just something someone tells you. It’s something you can cultivate. It’s something you can recognize in the world around you, and, crucially, within yourself. It’s not about being perfect or having everything figured out. It’s about being human, and that inherently being worthy of connection and care.
So now, when I hear “you are loved,” or when I say it to someone else, it feels different. It’s not just a throwaway line. It’s an acknowledgment of something deeper, something more fundamental. It’s a reminder that, yeah, even when things are messy and complicated, that connection, that inherent worth, it’s still there. It’s always there. You just have to learn how to see it, and sometimes, how to build it for yourself, brick by tiny brick.
