Alright, let’s talk about this. It’s something that’s been churning inside me for a long, long time. Longer than I probably even realized at first.
It wasn’t like a switch flipped one day. Nah, it was more like a background noise that just kept getting louder. You know? Like feeling… off. Like wearing clothes that weren’t quite right, playing a part that didn’t fit. For years, I just pushed it down. Tried to ignore it, tried to just be what everyone expected. Seemed easier, right?
Figuring Things Out
But that stuff… it doesn’t just go away. It kept nagging at me. Late nights, staring at the ceiling, just feeling this deep disconnect. I started doing some reading, searching online, trying to find words for what was going on in my head. Found stories from other people, and damn, some of it just clicked. Hard.
It was scary. Really scary. Thinking about what it all meant. What would people think? What would I have to do? There wasn’t one single ‘aha!’ moment, more like a slow dawning realization. This wasn’t just a phase or some weird mood. This was… me.
Making Moves, Slowly
So, I had to start doing something. Couldn’t keep living like I was pretending. It started small.
- Telling one person. Then another. Heart pounding the whole time. Some people got it, some… didn’t. That part’s tough.
- Trying out little changes. Things that felt more aligned with, well, the real me inside.
- Just letting myself feel things, acknowledge this part of myself instead of fighting it all the time.
Each step felt huge. Sometimes terrifying, sometimes incredibly freeing. It’s not like you just decide one day and everything magically changes. It’s a process. A messy, complicated, ongoing process.
Where I’m At Now
So yeah. I am transgender. Saying it out loud, writing it down… it still feels kinda big. But it also feels right. More right than anything felt before.
It hasn’t been easy. There have been plenty of rough days, confusion, dealing with other people’s reactions. But living authentically, even with the challenges? It beats pretending. It beats that constant feeling of being wrong in your own skin.
This is my path. Still figuring parts of it out, still learning. But I’m doing it as myself. And that, right there, makes all the difference.
