Figuring Things Out Down There
Alright, let’s talk about this. It wasn’t exactly something I shouted from the rooftops, you know? For a long time, I just felt kinda… stuck. Like, is this it? Is this gonna be a problem forever? You see all this stuff online, in movies, whatever, and it makes you think you’re coming up short, literally.

First off, I had to get outta my own head. That was the biggest step, honestly. Spent way too much time worrying instead of doing anything. I realized pretty quick that just slamming away wasn’t the answer, not for me anyway. It just felt… pointless sometimes, frustrating for everyone involved.
Experimenting and Talking
So, I started experimenting. Sounds kinda clinical, but it just means trying different stuff. What felt good? What didn’t? And crucially, I started talking. Yeah, actually talking to my partners about it. Sounds scary, right? But man, it made a world of difference. Turns out, most people are cool and just want to have a good time together. Once we started talking, it wasn’t just my problem anymore, it was something we figured out together.
We focused a lot more on foreplay. Like, way more. Building things up slowly, using hands, mouths, everything but the main event for a while. It took the pressure off and, honestly, made everything hotter.
We also played around with positions:
- Stuff where she was on top gave her more control over the depth and angle.
- Doggy style, sometimes with a pillow under her hips, changed the angles too.
- Experimenting with shallower positions, focusing on the entrance, actually felt amazing sometimes.
Changing the Focus
I learned that sex wasn’t just about one specific act. Shocker, I know. It’s about connection, pleasure, making the other person feel good, and feeling good yourself. Once I stopped thinking penetration was the be-all and end-all, a whole new world opened up.

We started using toys sometimes. Nothing crazy, just stuff to add different sensations, hit different spots. It wasn’t about replacing anything, just adding more options to the mix.
Confidence was key, too. Fake it ’til you make it? Kinda. But really, focusing on my partner’s pleasure, using my hands, my mouth, my whole body, and seeing them respond? That built real confidence. Knowing I could make them feel good, regardless of size, changed everything.
So yeah, it was a process. Lots of trial and error. Some awkward moments, sure. But figuring out what works for you and your partner? That’s the goal. It’s about the connection, the communication, and focusing on overall pleasure, not just one single thing. It took time, but I got there. You just gotta be willing to try stuff and talk openly.