Alright, let’s talk about this whole ‘sex want’ thing. It pops up, you know? For me, it wasn’t always straightforward. Used to be just this… noise in the background, sometimes louder, sometimes quieter. Didn’t really dig into it much.
Figuring Things Out
So, my practice started pretty simple. Real basic. When that feeling, that ‘want’, showed up strong, instead of just acting on it or pushing it away, I decided to just sit with it for a minute. Like, really notice it.
First step was just acknowledging it. No judgment, none of that ‘oh I shouldn’t feel this’ stuff. Just, okay, here it is. This feeling is present right now.
Then I’d get a bit curious. This took some practice, wasn’t automatic at first. I started asking myself some questions, just internally:
- What kind of ‘want’ is this really? Is it purely physical? Like an itch needing a scratch?
- Or is it something else tagging along? Am I feeling lonely? Bored? Stressed out?
- Is it about wanting connection with someone? Feeling desired or wanting to desire someone?
- What’s the actual flavor of this feeling today? Because it wasn’t always the same.
The Messy Middle Part
Honestly, sometimes I’d just think about it. Turn it over in my head. Other times, especially when it felt confusing or tangled up with other emotions, I’d actually grab a piece of paper. Yeah, like old school journaling, but super rough. Just scribbling down thoughts. Didn’t need to be neat or make perfect sense. Just getting it out of my head and onto the page helped.
I started noticing patterns. Sometimes the ‘want’ was louder when I felt disconnected in other parts of my life. Sometimes it was a straightforward physical thing. Sometimes it was a mix, all jumbled together. It wasn’t just one simple switch labeled ‘sex want’. It was more like a whole control panel with different buttons and sliders.
The key part was being honest with myself. Nobody else needed to see the notes or hear the thoughts. This was just for me, trying to understand my own wiring a bit better.
What Came Out Of It
Doing this didn’t magically solve anything overnight. Wasn’t like a quick fix. But it did make me feel less… pushed around by the feeling? I started to understand the ‘why’ behind the ‘want’ a bit more often.
It gave me a little space between the feeling hitting and whatever I did next. Sometimes understanding it meant I realized I actually just needed a good talk with my partner, or maybe just needed to de-stress, go for a walk, or work on a project. Other times, yeah, it was clearly about sex, but knowing that clearly felt different, more grounded.
So, that’s my practice. Just getting real with myself about what that ‘want’ signal actually means when it rings. It’s ongoing, not something you figure out once and you’re done. But it’s helped me navigate my own feelings a lot better. Just pausing and asking ‘what’s really going on here?’ Made a surprising difference.
