My Journey Understanding What Works
Alright, let’s talk about this. It’s something I’ve spent a lot of time noticing, just through experience, you know? Not reading books, but actually paying attention over the years. You see patterns, but then those patterns break.
First off, I realized pretty early on that assuming anything is just dumb. Like, really dumb. You think you know, but you don’t. I started just watching, listening more. Stopped trying to impress or follow some imaginary script. It’s about the other person, right? So, the first step was shutting up and observing.
Paying Attention to the Small Stuff
This became key. It wasn’t about grand gestures. It was noticing the little things. A change in breathing. A slight movement. Sometimes silence speaks volumes, sometimes noise does. You start to build a mental log. Okay, this approach seemed to work well. That one? Not so much. Got a negative vibe. You try to remember what led to what.
- Listening to actual words, obviously. If someone tells you something, believe them.
- Watching body language. Tense? Relaxed? Arching? Pulling away? It’s all information.
- Trying different things, gently. Noticing the response. Not pushing if it’s not working.
Honestly, keeping track mentally was tough. Sometimes I’d jot down thoughts later, just reflections. Like, ‘Okay, partner A really responded to this specific thing, but partner B found it annoying.’ It helps solidify the learning, makes you realize how unique everyone is.
Communication Changed Everything
Biggest breakthrough? Just asking. Sounds simple, but seriously. Instead of guessing games, just asking: ‘Do you like this?’ or ‘How does that feel?’ or ‘What do you want?’ It felt awkward at first, not gonna lie. Thought it would kill the mood. Nope. Mostly, it did the opposite.
It showed I cared about her pleasure, not just going through motions. And guess what? Women who love oral sex often have opinions! They know what they like. Asking gives them the opening to tell you. This discovery phase was crucial. It moved from assumptions to actual collaboration.
Things I Learned the Hard Way:
- Confidence Matters, But Not Arrogance: Being comfortable and not hesitant helps. But being cocky and thinking you know everything? Big turn-off.
- Enthusiasm is Contagious: If you seem like you’re genuinely enjoying giving, it makes a huge difference. It’s not a chore.
- Patience is Key: Sometimes it takes time. Rushing rarely works out well.
- Hygiene. Duh.: This should be obvious, but yeah. Basic stuff matters.
So, my ‘practice’ was basically years of trial, error, observation, and finally, learning to communicate better. The ‘records’ were mostly mental notes, sometimes scribbled reflections, mapping out what seemed to genuinely connect and lead to mutual enjoyment, especially understanding the preferences of women who are really into it. It’s less a technique thing and more an attention and communication thing. That’s what I found, anyway.
