Okay, so I need to talk about this dream I had. It really shook me up, more than usual.
Last night, I dreamt my husband died. It wasn’t like some movie scene, all dramatic or anything. It was just… this feeling. In the dream, I somehow knew he was gone. I don’t remember the how, like if it was an accident or sickness. The details are fuzzy now, like dreams always are. But the feeling? Oh man, that was crystal clear. It was this heavy, suffocating sadness and panic all rolled into one. Like the floor just dropped out from under me. I remember wandering around in the dream, feeling completely lost and alone. It felt so incredibly real.
Waking Up Was Weird
I woke up suddenly. My heart was hammering away in my chest, and I was maybe even crying a little? Took me a good minute to get my bearings, to realize where I was and that it wasn’t real. The relief washed over me, thank goodness. But even after I knew it was just a dream, that horrible sad feeling lingered for a while. It was sticky.
I just lay there in the dark, listening to him breathing next to me. Had the strongest urge to just reach out and touch him, make sure he was solid and really there. I didn’t want to wake him up, obviously, but that feeling of needing proof was intense. Crazy how dreams can mess with your head like that.
The Rest of the Day
Honestly, it put a bit of a damper on my morning. Everything felt a little fragile. I kept looking at him, just appreciating him being there, doing normal stuff like making coffee. I eventually told him about it later in the day. I tried to keep it light, you know? Just said, “Had a really awful dream about you last night, felt terrible.”
He kinda gave me a hug and said something like, “Well, I’m right here, aren’t I?” Which was sweet, in his own way. He blamed it on me eating cheese too late or something silly. Maybe he was right, who knows? Doesn’t really matter why I had the dream, I guess. The main thing is, it wasn’t real. But it definitely made me give him an extra squeeze before he left for work.
It’s just unsettling what your mind can do when you’re asleep. Makes you really thankful for what you have, you know?
