Figuring Out Partner Expectations
Okay, let’s talk about this ‘partner expectations’ thing. Sounds simple, right? Like, you just tell someone what you expect. But man, in practice, it gets messy real fast. I learned this the hard way, like most things worth learning, I guess.
I remember this one project years ago. A collaboration. Seemed straightforward. We had a meeting, everyone nodded, seemed excited. We all thought we knew what we were doing, what the other person was supposed to handle. Big mistake. Huge.
Weeks went by. Things started feeling… off. Deadlines were getting fuzzy. Parts of the work I thought the other guy was doing, well, he wasn’t. He probably thought I was doing them. We ended up with duplicate work on some minor stuff and huge gaps in the important areas. It was frustrating. Like, really frustrating. We weren’t yelling, but the air was thick, you know? That quiet kind of resentment building up.
So, what did I do? First, I just got mad internally. Blamed the other person, blamed the situation. Didn’t help, obviously. Then, I realized I had to actually do something different next time, or this would just keep happening.
My Process Now (Learned the Hard Way)
So, my ‘practice’ now is pretty basic, born out of that mess. It’s not foolproof, but it’s way better than hoping everyone magically reads my mind.
- Step 1: Force the Conversation Early. Before any real work starts. Even if it feels awkward or too formal. I just say something like, “Hey, let’s quickly make sure we’re on the same page about who’s doing what and what we expect from each other.”
- Step 2: Get Specific. Really Specific. Vague stuff like “handle the backend” or “do the marketing” caused the problems before. Now I try to break it down. What exactly does “handle the backend” mean? Which features? What are the performance expectations? What’s the deadline for the first part? I ask these questions, and I state my own assumptions clearly.
- Step 3: Write It Down. Seriously. Even if it’s just a simple email after the conversation. “Okay, just to recap, I’m handling X, Y, Z by this date. You’re tackling A, B, C by that date. We expect communication updates every Tuesday.” Something like that. It sounds stupidly simple, but having it written down avoids the “Oh, I thought you meant…” later.
- Step 4: Check In Regularly. Expectations can change. Things happen. So, I build in quick check-ins. Not long meetings, just a “Hey, how’s A going? Still on track? Any blockers? My side on X is fine.” This helps catch drift early.
Did it solve everything? No. People are still people. Sometimes things still go sideways. But since I started actually doing this, the number of major blow-ups due to mismatched expectations has dropped massively. It forces clarity. It makes unspoken assumptions visible. And honestly, it saves a ton of resentment and wasted time.
It’s not rocket science. It’s just doing the upfront, sometimes slightly uncomfortable work to avoid a bigger headache later. Learned that one through pure, painful experience.
