Our Little Rituals
Okay, so folks ask how we keep things, you know, alive after all this time. It’s not like some magic switch. It took work, figuring stuff out, just like anything else worth doing.
We started off like most people, I guess. Fumbling around, sometimes great, sometimes awkward. The big change for us was when we actually started talking about it. Not like some serious meeting, but just checking in. “Did you like that?” “How about we try this?” Simple stuff, really.
It wasn’t always easy. Sometimes you feel a bit silly asking, or maybe one person isn’t in the mood to chat right then. But we sort of made a pact to push through the awkwardness. We realized it’s better to feel silly for a second than to keep doing something the other person isn’t really into, or missing out on something they’d love.
Setting the Scene (Kind Of)
We don’t do anything too fancy most nights. Sometimes life is just too busy. But we try to make a point of actually connecting beforehand. For us, that usually means:
- Putting the phones away. Seriously, just ditching them in another room.
- Talking about our day, but not just complaining. Sharing something good, or funny.
- Maybe just cuddling on the sofa for a bit first. No pressure, just being close.
It sounds basic, I know. But it’s about shifting gears from ‘busy parent/worker mode’ to ‘us mode’. It signals, hey, I’m focusing on you now.
During, It’s Still About Talking (Sort Of)
Even when things get going, we keep that check-in habit. Not full conversations, obviously! But little sounds, a squeeze of the hand, eye contact. You learn to read each other. And if something feels off, or really good, we try to actually say it, even if it’s just a whisper. It keeps us both involved, making sure it’s something we’re sharing, not just something that’s happening.
We learned that one person’s ‘great’ might be another person’s ‘meh’. So we stopped assuming. We just kept things open, kept experimenting based on what the other person seemed to enjoy or what we’d talked about wanting to try.
Afterwards Matters Too
This part became more important as we got older, I think. Rushing off or rolling over felt… incomplete. We make a point to just lie there for a bit. Cuddle, talk quietly, maybe laugh about something. It just reinforces that feeling of closeness. It’s not just about the physical act; it’s about the whole shared experience, start to finish.
Honestly, it’s an ongoing process. Some weeks are better than others. Sometimes we’re tired, sometimes we’re stressed. But having this sort of baseline practice – talking, checking in, making time – it helps keep that connection strong, even when life gets crazy. It’s our way, figured out over time, lots of trial and error. Just kept at it, you know?
