Okay, let’s talk about something kinda personal. Found out a while back that my partner has herpes. Yeah, that threw me for a loop, gotta be honest.
First Reactions
My head went straight to all the scary stuff you hear. Is this it? What does this mean for us? For intimacy? For me? There was definitely a knot in my stomach for a bit. It felt like this huge, scary unknown thing suddenly dropped into our lives.
Figuring Things Out
We knew we couldn’t just ignore it or freak out forever. So, we started talking. Really talking. About fears, about what it actually meant. We weren’t doctors, obviously, so we did some reading, tried to sort facts from fiction. Learned about outbreaks, when the risk is higher, when it’s lower. It wasn’t easy wading through all the info, some of it pretty clinical, some just plain terrifying.
The main thing we learned was that it wasn’t necessarily a guarantee I’d get it. That was a bit of relief, but still, the worry was there.
What We Actually Did
So, we had to put what we learned into practice. It meant being way more aware.
- Communication was key: My partner got really good at recognizing signs of an outbreak coming on, and we’d just hold off on anything intimate during that time. Absolute honesty was non-negotiable.
- Protection: Condoms became a regular thing for us, pretty much all the time. Heard it could cut the risk down quite a bit, so that just made sense. Seemed like a small thing to do for peace of mind.
- Managing outbreaks: My partner talked to their doctor, got on medication to help manage things, reduce outbreaks. That helped them feel more in control, and honestly, it helped me feel better too.
It felt like work sometimes, remembering everything, being careful. It wasn’t always spontaneous, you know? Had to think ahead.
Where We Are Now
It’s been quite some time now. We’re still together, our relationship is strong. It forced us to communicate on a level we might not have otherwise. And yeah, after all this time, all the precautions, all the talks… I still don’t have herpes. Turns out, it is possible.
It’s not this giant monster hiding in the closet anymore. It’s just something we know about, manage, and live with. It takes effort from both sides, understanding, and a whole lot of trust. But yeah, you can navigate it. It didn’t have to be the end of our intimacy or our relationship. Just meant we had to learn a new way to dance, I guess.
