Okay, so I’ve been pondering this whole “healing from trauma while in a relationship” thing. It’s a tricky beast, right? Like, can you really work on yourself when you’re also tangled up with someone else’s stuff?
First, I started by just, like, noticing. Noticing the patterns in my relationships. The triggers. The way I’d react to certain things my partner did, even if they were totally innocent. It was like, “Whoa, that’s not a normal response.” I started to see that these reactions were connected to older, deeper stuff.
Then, I dove into some reading. Nothing too heavy, just some articles and blogs about trauma and relationships. Trying to understand the basics, you know? What is trauma, anyway? How does it mess with your head and your heart?
The big step was talking to my partner. That was hard. Like, really, really hard. Admitting I was struggling, admitting I had these wounds that were impacting us both. But I did it. I explained as best I could what I was going through, what triggered me, and what I needed from them. We are having an on-going conversation. It’s not a one-and-done deal.
We set some boundaries,together,I tried to communicate my needs clearly, and my partner tried their best to listen and understand, it’s still difficult for them to completely understand, but the effort is *’s tough, because sometimes they take things personally, or they feel helpless. I try to remember they aren’t therapist, but still they are my partner.
I also started therapy. Seriously, that’s been a game-changer. Having a safe space to unpack all my baggage, without worrying about burdening my partner? Priceless. My therapist is helping me understand the roots of my trauma, and giving me tools to cope with the triggers.
And I started doing all the “self-care” stuff everyone talks about. More walks,more relaxing time. Seems simple, but it really, really helps. It’s like I’m slowly building up my resilience, my ability to handle the tough stuff.
It’s a messy process, for sure. There are good days and bad days. Days when I feel like I’m making progress, and days when I feel like I’m back at square one. It require lots of patience, for me, and for my partner.
So, can you heal from trauma while in a relationship? I think so. But it takes work. A lot of work. And communication. And support. It’s not easy, but I think it’s possible.
