Okay, so I’ve been doing some thinking about fear, and how it messes with relationships. I decided to really dig into this, and here’s what I did.
First, I listed out all the things I’m afraid of in relationships. You know, stuff like:
- Getting hurt
- Being rejected
- Losing the person
- Not being good enough
- Being vulnerable
It was a pretty long list, to be honest. Seeing it all written down was kind of… intense.
Then, I picked one – the fear of rejection. It’s a big one for me. I thought back to times when I felt that fear, like when I was starting a new reationship or trying to get closer to my current relationship. I remembered how it made me act: distant, hesitant, maybe even a little cold.
I realized that this fear was actually pushing people away. Like, I was so scared of them leaving that I ended up creating the very thing I was afraid of. That was a serious “aha!” moment.
Digging Deeper
So, I started journaling about it. Every time I felt that fear creeping in, I wrote down what happened, how I felt, and how I reacted. It was messy and uncomfortable, but it helped me see patterns.
I also started talking to my close friend about it. Just saying the words out loud, “I’m afraid of being rejected,” made it feel less powerful. She listened and shared some of her own experiences, which made me feel way less alone.
Trying Something New
The next time I felt that fear, instead of pulling away, I tried something different. I took a deep breath and told the friend I was with, “Hey, I’m feeling a little insecure right now.”
It was scary, but you know what? They were totally cool about it. They reassured me, and we ended up having a really honest conversation. It was… surprisingly good.
I’m still working on this, of course. Fear doesn’t just disappear overnight. But paying attention to it, understanding where it comes from, and choosing to act differently – that’s making a real difference. It’s like I’m slowly rewriting the script in my head, and that feels pretty powerful.
