Okay, so yesterday I was thinking about relationships, like, what REALLY makes them work? Not just the surface stuff, but the deep-down things everyone needs. So, I decided to do a little experiment on myself and my partner.
First, I brainstormed. I grabbed a notebook and just jotted down every single thing I could think of that felt important in a relationship. My list was all over the place: trust, laughter, good sex, shared Netflix binges… you name it.
Then, I tried to organize my messy thoughts. I started grouping things together. Like, “honesty” and “trust” went under a bigger umbrella of “being real with each other.” “Fun dates” and “laughing together” became “shared joy.”
My Little Experiment Begins
Next, I talked to my partner. I told him what I was up to, and we both went through my list. We talked about what each point meant to us, and if anything was missing. He added “feeling supported” which, duh, I totally should have thought of!
- We both agreed that “respect” was HUGE. Like, fundamental.
- We also spent a while on “communication.” We talked about how it’s not just talking, but actually listening and understanding each other.
- “Physical affection” was another big one. And it’s not just about sex – it’s about holding hands, cuddling, just feeling close.
- “Independence” is also a big one to me, support each other’s dreams.
After our chat, I refined my list. I ended up with five core needs:
- Respect: Treating each other as equals, valuing each other’s opinions and feelings.
- Communication: Really listening, being open and honest, and working through disagreements constructively.
- Affection: Showing love and appreciation in ways that feel good to both partners.
- Support: Being there for each other through thick and thin, celebrating successes and offering comfort during tough times.
- Shared Fun: Making time for joy, laughter, and shared experiences.
Finally, I reflected on the whole process. It wasn’t just about making a list. It was about having an open and honest conversation with my partner, and really thinking about what makes our relationship strong. It’s a work in progress, of course, but it felt like a really good starting point.
It’s an ongoing experiment, but I think consciously focusing on these needs is already making a positive difference. Maybe I should try more experiments.
