Okay, so, I had this whole thing brewing inside me. You know, when your boyfriend does something that just…rubs you the wrong way? And it’s not even a HUGE thing, but it sits there, festering. That was me. So, I decided I needed to write him a letter. Not an angry, accusatory one, but a “hey, this is how I’m feeling” one. Here’s how I tackled it.
Getting My Thoughts Straight
First, I just needed to figure out exactly what was bothering me. It wasn’t enough to say “I’m upset.” I needed specifics. I grabbed a notebook and just started brain-dumping. Everything that came to mind, even if it seemed silly. I wrote it out that he never cares my daily sharing, and always response very short sentence.
I jotted down:
- The specific instances.
- How they made me feel (sad, ignored, unimportant, etc.).
- What I wish he had done instead.
Drafting the Letter
This was the hard part. I didn’t want to sound like I was attacking him. The goal was to communicate, not to start a fight. I tried to use “I” statements. Like, instead of “You always do this,” I’d write “I feel like this when that happens.” Big difference!
I started with something positive, just to set a good tone. Something like, “I really appreciate how supportive you are…” and then eased into the tougher stuff.
I focused on one or two key issues. I didn’t want to overwhelm him with a laundry list of complaints. Keep it simple, keep it focused.
I also made sure to explain why these things bothered me. It’s not always obvious to the other person. Sometimes they genuinely don’t realize how their actions affect you.
Revising and Refining
After I had a rough draft, I let it sit for a few hours. Then I came back to it with fresh eyes. I read it aloud to myself, which helped me catch any awkward phrasing or overly harsh wording.
I asked myself if the letter could be misunderstand easily, will it cause bigger fight?
I tweaked things, softened some sentences, and clarified others. The goal was to make it as clear and non-confrontational as possible.
Delivering the Message
I decided to give him the letter in person. I thought it would be better than texting it, because he could see my face and know I wasn’t trying to be mean, but I also was not comfortable say it out. This way, we could talk about it afterwards.
I handed it to him, and told that I will wait him in my room. It’s kind like a signal that I want to be alone for a while, I need some time to let it go.
It was a little nerve-wracking, ngl. But honestly, it felt SO much better to get it all out in the open. And you know what? We had a really good conversation, and things are definitely better now. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it.
