Okay, so the other day, I noticed my wife seemed extra tense. Little things were setting her off, and I was getting an earful more often than usual. It got me thinking, “Why is she yelling at me more lately?” So, I decided to do a little digging, a little self-reflection, and try to figure this out.
Step 1: Observation and Note-Taking
First thing I did was just pay attention. I started noticing when the yelling happened. Was it after a long day at work? When the kids were being particularly chaotic? When I left my socks on the floor for the millionth time? I even started jotting down little notes on my phone – just quick observations about the situation, her mood, and, well, my own behavior.
Step 2: The Dreaded Self-Reflection
This part wasn’t fun. I had to be honest with myself. Was I actually doing things that might be irritating her? Looking back at my notes, a pattern started to emerge. I’d been working extra hours lately, coming home late, and kind of zoning out in front of the TV. Classic “checked-out husband” move, right?
Step 3: Communication (The Scary Part)
The Communication start with my deep breath.
I waited for a calm moment – kids in bed, no work stress hanging over us – and just…asked. I said something like, “Hey, I’ve noticed I’ve been getting yelled at a bit more lately, and I’m wondering if there’s something going on. Is everything okay?”
At first, she was a little defensive (understandably). But after I explained that I was genuinely trying to understand and not just complaining, she started to open up.
Step 4: Listening (Actually Listening)
Turns out, it wasn’t just one thing. She was feeling overwhelmed with housework, the kids’ schedules, and a big project at her own job. She felt like I wasn’t pulling my weight around the house, and the late nights at work were making her feel like I was prioritizing work over family time. Ouch. But, fair.
Step 5: Making Changes (and Sticking to Them)
Here’s where the rubber met the road. We talked about how we could better divide chores, I committed to being home earlier a few nights a week, and we even started planning a regular date night. It wasn’t about grand gestures; it was about consistent effort.
- Helped more with dishes: No more leaving them piled up!
- Took over bedtime routine: Gave her a break, and the kids loved it.
- Scheduled “us” time: Even if it was just watching a movie together after the kids were asleep.
- Put my socks away(Attempt):No more leaving them piled up!
The Result?
It’s not perfect, of course. Life happens. But the yelling has definitely decreased. More importantly, we’re communicating better. We’re talking before things build up to a boiling point. It’s a work in progress, but at least now I have a better understanding of “why,” and we’re working on it together.
