Okay, here’s my personal take on measuring, uh, down there, based on my own, shall we say, extensive research.
So, I decided to finally figure this whole thing out. I mean, you hear numbers thrown around, and I just wanted to know where I actually stood. No BS, just the real deal.
Getting Started: The Tools
First, I grabbed a few things. Forget those flimsy paper rulers from school – I needed something solid.
- A standard, hard ruler. Wood or plastic, doesn’t matter, as long as it’s straight and doesn’t bend.
- A flexible measuring tape. Like the kind tailors use. This is for, well, you’ll see.
- A mirror. Gotta see what you’re doing, right? I used a full-length one, propped up against the wall.
- (Optional) A friend. To help and keep you company, to make everything a bit less, um, awkward.
The “Bone-Pressed” Method (Length)
This is the one everyone talks about, and it’s supposed to be the most “accurate”. Here’s how I did it:
- Stand up straight. I stood against a wall, just to make sure I wasn’t slouching. Posture is key, apparently.
- Get, uh, “ready”. Full mast, if you catch my drift. No half-measures here.
- Place the ruler. I put the end of the ruler right against my pubic bone. Like, really pressed it in there. This is the “bone-pressed” part. It felt a little weird, but I wanted to be thorough.
- Measure to the tip. I extended the ruler all the way to the very end. Squinted a bit, made sure I was reading it right.
- Write it down! Immediately, because my brain is like a sieve.
The “Non-Bone-Pressed” Method (Length)
I do the same thing, but I don’t press into my pubic bone, just make sure you are touching it.
The Girth Measurement
This is where the flexible tape comes in. It’s pretty straightforward:
- Still “ready”. Yep, same as before.
- Wrap the tape. I wrapped the measuring tape around the thickest part of the shaft. Not too tight, not too loose. Just snug.
- Read the number. Where the tape overlaps, that’s your girth.
- Write that down too. Again, my memory sucks.
My Results and Thoughts
After writing down the data for a period of time I average them, so I got a more accurate number.
I’m not going to share my exact numbers here. Let’s just say I was… pleasantly surprised? I guess all that worrying was for nothing. It’s more about how you, ahem, use it, right?
Honestly, the whole process was a bit more involved than I expected. But hey, now I know. And now you know how I did it. Go forth and measure, my friends! But remember, it’s all in good fun, and size really isn’t everything.
