Okay, so yesterday I went on my third date with this guy from the coffee shop meetup. Woke up feeling kinda nervous, ya know? Like, first dates are icebreakers, second dates are chill explorations… but third dates? Felt like crossing into serious territory. My brain kept asking: “Should things be different now? What’s even supposed to happen?” Grabbed my journal that morning and decided to figure this out, trial-and-error style.
What Actually Went Down
Met him at this little pizza place downtown. First surprise? He looked way more relaxed than last time, almost like a switch flipped. No awkward small talk about jobs or “where’d you grow up” stuff. Instead, he straight-up asked about my chaotic camping trip disaster story from last summer – remembered I’d mentioned it offhand weeks ago.
Then we just… walked. No fancy plan, just wandered toward the park. Ended up feeding stale pizza crust to some psychotic pigeons while arguing over whether pineapple belongs on pizza (it DOES, fight me). We laughed like idiots when one bird tried stealing his whole slice. That’s when it hit me: this wasn’t an interview anymore. It was… hanging out. Messy, unscripted, comfortable.
The 5 Reality Checks I Scribbled in My Notes App Later
- Stop rehearsing outcomes. Kept imagining “milestones” – hand-holding? Kiss? Ugh. Totally distracted me from actually listening when he talked about his sister’s bakery drama. Just be there.
- Vulnerability isn’t trauma-dumping. Shared that I sucked at bowling (embarrassing childhood league flashbacks). He confessed his fear of escalators. Tiny stupid truths > forced “deep” convos.
- Silence isn’t broken. That 10-minute quiet stretch watching ducks? Didn’t panic-fill it with chatter. Felt peaceful, not dead.
- Forget the resume. Weirdly, didn’t ask each other any more “credentials” questions. We know he does accounting and I teach art – move ON.
- Assume nothing. Almost canceled thinking “surely he’ll expect romance stuff?” Nope. He brought breath mints “in case the garlic pizza murdered us.” Zero pressure energy.
Left feeling lighter than those pigeons. Realized I’d wasted so much energy on invisible rulebooks. The win? Not whether it turned “serious,” but that we finally ditched the performance. Texted him this morning about those ducks still seeming shady – he sent back a pigeon meme immediately. Mission freaking accomplished.
